First off if you missed “Part 1 – Be Impeccable With Your Word” I invite you to check it out here.
If you have not read the Four Agreements yet you can check out the book here:
Part 2: Second Agreement: Don’t take things personally.
We are often hurt by others comments or worry about what others think. Our whole world often revolves around this very fact. Some of us struggle with this on a daily basis and others only deal with this on certain occasions. It’s so easy to say to someone “You shouldn’t take it personally”. But how do we actually change the way we think so that we can start living our dreams and expressing ourselves freely without the fear of judgement?
Below are tips on how to start to not take things personally:
Start by analyzing what we can control:
First we need to determine what we have control over. If we can’t control something is there any use in spending our energy on it? Could our daily limited amount of energy be spent on something we do have control of that would have a better impact on our lives? Keeping this in the back of our minds as a filter will help us decide whether or not we should spend our energy on it.
Ask yourself: “Is this really about me or about them?”
“Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes part of our belief system.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
We need to realize that others have their own fears, struggles, events, insecurities, imperfections, feelings, emotions and thoughts. Negative feedback from these individuals may be more of a reflection on themselves than on others.
Manage the “What If’s?”:
Anxiety mostly comes from the fear of things we can’t control. The “What If’s…” that we often tell ourselves when faced with different situations affects us in ways that we don’t realize. When being faced with a “What If?” get in the habit of following it up with a “So What?”.
Accept others as they are:
We need to realize that the world we live in is one of diverse beliefs, opinions, values, customs, etc… The world would not be what it is if it was not for that fact. Knowing this we can easily agree that we can’t possibly expect everyone to agree on everything.
Disagreements can be very good for personal/professional growth if the conflict does not become a personal one. It’s important that we remain open to others opinions as it is a great opportunity for growth.
Challenge your beliefs:
Don’t believe all your thoughts/beliefs as we lie to ourselves often. Our mind is very powerful and will create many assumptions about situations that can affect us greatly. Challenge your mind with questions and decide if you will accept them as truths or lies.
Don’t Judge Others:
“Imagine living your life without judging others. You can easily forgive others and let go of any judgments that you have. You don’t have the need to be right, and you don’t need to make anyone else wrong. You respect yourself and everyone else, and they respect you in return.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
I am a big believer in treating others as you would like to be treated. We should lead by example and not judge others if we wish for them to be respectful of us.
By following the tips above the result in our lives will be that we slowly find our true self and live a happier life. We should never be afraid to be ourselves as each of us have something great to offer to the world around us.
Please like my Facebook page to not miss future posts as I will be expanding on these tips.
Do you have any other tips to share? I would love to hear your thoughts! Comment below.